A Nose In Need Deserves Puffs Indeed

It's 8:22 AM. I have been up for a couple of hours now, wondering what I am going to do all day today because I called out sick from work. I have this terrible cold, but I see it as a blessing in disguise to have a moment's respite from life's hectic pace. I have already had a plethora of things run through my mind as to what I want to write in this blog. I think about writing all the time, but usually feel too guilty I am not doing something more productive and abandon my one hobby I have tried so hard to keep up with. So to update you on my life, I may be sick today, but I feel an overwhelming sense of happiness and contentment. Not because I have everything figured out in my life, but because I am surrounded by love and friendship and beauty and have had the common sense lately to open my eyes and enjoy it. I have been having these moments where it really hits me how lucky I am to have wonderful friends, a loving family, wise people who inspire me and never even know it, a job, a dog, a brain, a bed, and so much more.

I came to this conclusion at the beginning of this week, after a bit of a slump last week. As a women, I feel it comes so easy to not feel good enough. To feel like we disappoint others and ourselves constantly. I struggle with feeling I can do so much better and falling short of doing it. Friday, Nate, Tiff, G Sauce and I went to Southpark Regal Cinemas to see Eat, Pray, Love. I have wanted to see that movie since I first saw the preview. And although the movie fell a bit short of my expectations, there was one scene that hit me profoundly. As Julia Roberts is talking with her Texan mentor on the roof of the ashram in India he tells her she needs to forgive herself. I find forgiving others generally comes easy for me. I don't know what to do with emotions like anger so I generally try to push them out of my life quickly. But forgiving myself is like asking me to climb Everest. If any of you have ever heard me go off on my Everest tangent, I apologize... to make a succinct point we will just say Everest to me seems like a waste of time and you must be insane if you want to risk your life to freeze your buns off and look off of a mountain for five minutes. But after thinking about it, I have realized that Everest may be one of the most grueling challenges on Earth, but the sense of accomplishment and the beauty you must see from up there must be such a release.

If we could learn to forgive ourselves for not living up to the insane standards of the world and realize what makes us wonderful, what a release it would be. To let go of not being pretty enough, smart enough, good enough and start realizing we are, we may thereby accomplish one of life's most daunting tasks: Acceptance that with God we can do all things, but He may not require them all of you. I always feel like I need to be a five star chef, grammy award winning singer, Ansel Adams, and world's best person, but I don't think that is what God has in mind for me. I can cook meals that are edible, sing on key half the time, take pictures that allow me to remember something beautiful, and try and excel in all that I do and that is enough. Will I try to be better? Of course. But from now on I am deciding that until I perfect my scrambled eggs, its okay if they are a bit rubbery. Isn't it the little idiosyncrasies in people and events that make for the best memories? Find joy in the journey every day. If not, you are missing the adventure.