Weezer Says It Best

So I have been having a bit of a dilemna lately. Isn't that how all these blog postings start? It's called, I am really sick of working and wasting my life on my job that bores me to the point of not knowing whether to attempt slitting my wrist with the plastic spoon in my drawer or not. (I did watch a documentary about prison the other day and prisoners who can create deadly weapons out of plastic utensils... but that is another blog post for another day.) Weezer sums it up well in the song Troublemaker. "I can't work a job like every other slob. Punching in and punching out and sucking up to Bob. Keep it on the up. I'm never giving up." Okay so I am not suicidal and I dpn't even have a plastic spoon at my desk. I have used them all for my contraband oatmeals in the morning. Work is not that bad, but I never know whether to scream, or cry, or throw up out of sheer disgust for my job. I can hear my mom saying in my head right now... Don't put so much energy into what you don't want, it just attracts it to you. Well I can't work more than 40 hours a week, so hit me with your best shot universe. But seriously, how do people do the same thing every day? Shift work is the most utterly ridiculous thing ever. I get so bored with the same thing every day. I know we have to have money to do things like eat, buy clothes, and provide our necessities, but I think I would have been happier in the olden days, farming, sewing my own clothes, and reading books and visiting with people for amusement. There are so many cool things we have the opportunity to do now that we have not had in previous times. Like traveling the world and making friends that are miles away. Or eating strawberries all year round. Taking a hot shower whenever we want or flushing a toilet. Awesome stuff, but I think I could give those up. My electric toothbrush on the other hand, I may have a rough time letting go of, or air conditioning... but anyway. The point is, I just don't get it. What's the big deal with money? What do I need it for? This capatalistic system we set up forces me to make money to feed myself and have a roof over my head, but what worth is it to me if I don't get to enjoy my life? I sit in an office, can't even see the outside all day long, and am too tired to go do something I enjoy afterwards. Doesn't this seem like a waste of life to anyone else? Part of me wishes I could feel comfortable with all this monotony. That I could be satisfied with doing the same boring thing every day. But I am not. I am searching for an escape. For some fun and adventure. If I didn't have such wonderful friends and family to take my mind off of how much I dislike 5 out of the 7 days in the week, I sincerely believe I would go insane. If I'm not there already. Aren't we here to have joy? I think I need a little more in my life. I know this means I need to look around and be grateful for all the things I have... I have a tendancy to say 'thanks for all these wonderful things, but...' and I need to be better. It's not really being grateful if you are still wanting more. So I will start a gratitude journal. That is the point of this post. Darcie says my posts are way too long or intellectual. So for the sake of my sister, now that you read this whole dang thing, I can wrap it up in two words. Be Grateful.